What’s in a name?

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet” -Romeo and Juliet

I’m here tonight to say that yes. Sometimes there are things that are very wrong with names. Words. Words that make you cringe because the word is just weird. Words that you read, and you’re just like…can’t you pick another one?

English teachers always ramble on about synonyms and vocabulary and what not, but honestly, that’s not very fun. I can feel the groans and sadness of middle school and high school days when we had to take out those horrible little vocab books…ugh, definitely don’t miss that. However, in the midst of this paper-filled semester, I’ve begun to realize that maybe they were right.

1. The Thesaurus app on my laptop is literally my bff when I’m writing essays. No joke. 

You want to write, “Interesting,” you say? Not interesting. You wrote that five lines ago! You risk sounding lame and tacky and repetitive if you use it again! AHA! Thesaurus app. Interesting? No way! Try: compelling, fascinating, riveting or captivating! Perfect. Carry on with your essay-life, and expect everyone to think you’re at least 10x intelligent than if you had only written “interesting.” Because we all know the key to intelligence is to disguising your doubt with large vocabulary words. . . . . .

2. There are words in the English language that I hate more than anything.

Enjoy reading some of those here-

Hate:

Moist. Unless you’re referring to the chocolate cake you baked me….please, not moist.

Crusty. Just no. I can’t think of anything “crusty” that is even remotely appealing.

Saturated. Sweat. Saturated fats. EW x6,098,287,283

Ointment. It just implies fungus or the rubbing of an awkward cream of some sort…..why would you want that?

Saturated with ointment, despite her crusty toenail, her foot felt rather moist.

ISN’T THAT THE WORST SENTENCE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD? I am not okay with it. At all.  I don’t think I ever will be. If you can combine those words into a pleasing sentence, be my guest. Prove me wrong.

I mean, anything is possible. One time my classmates and I all fit “fresh from the womb” into our essays. So moral of the story, when you’re writing your essays, keep your Thesaurus app just a couple clicks away, and keep your saturated-moist-crusty-ointment-toes far, far away. xD

 

 

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